when it wants to be heard, seen, and noticed or acknowledged/recognized it is ultimately a killjoy.
“Me, me, me.”
“My, my, my.”
“I, I, I.”
in thinking about it, there are ways to diffuse this character flaw and need to be recognized. it involves humility and the humbleness of character that is willing to stand aside when needed. where there is no need to be heard, or to have the last word, there is an egoless character who practices mindfulness. or ancestors forbid, apathy.
sadly, ppl, both women and men, lose sight of what’s bigger and more important than ego, our future. at the cost of family, it may refuse to talk to someone or acknowledge another. families infighting. sibling rivalries rooted in jealousy, hateful behaviors, and animosity. marriages are broken up due to selfish behaviors linked to lust, greed, and competition, all of it for instant self gratification. children are used as weapons. jobs are lost. so called “leaders” leak their insecurities and gossip and exclude others to keep ego safe. the ills of lateral violence spread rumors that are untrue. bullying occurs. homes are no longer safe. and spaces of unhealed pain bounce around statically from one to another.
egos need to say, “that is mine” or “you hurt me, therefore you must suffer” is a clear indicator of unhealed pain that existed prior to any said event. triggers can send someone spiraling into an episode of flared ego which end up hurting others.
examples of flared egos can be witnessed with someone yelling to one up. or talking louder over another who is already talking because ego is right. ignoring someone’s expression, with interrupting and disruptive behaviors.
the toxic behaviors of ego are many and requires much of an egoless person. this is not to say ego does not exist, ever. all this to say, ego is present at all times. however, when practicing mindful behavior, mindfulness cools a hot temperament, it starves the lust, and creates supportive, healthy, and safe environments.
one must be willing to forgive individual behaviors of ego and do their best to practice compassion. or, learn to walk away and not engage with egotistical behaviors.
what is important to remember with ego is that it can be and is a deadly poison. when unaddressed, it spreads the poison, much like oil in water, it is a gleaming rainbow of colors. the dangers of an unchecked ego is the potential to spread out more poison to others IF it is not addressed or corrected.
9 times out of 10, an over inflated ego will refuse to hear truth. ego will also point to blame someone, anyone through deflection. ego will also find an ally who will believe it’s lies and supports it. note, ego is well versed in victimizing itself. casting blame that life is the way that it is for it because someone did this or said that about ego.
ego is insecure and childlike. wanting to make sure everyone within ear shot hears it. making sure people see the stamp of its name on everything it touches/touched to make sure it is noted. unchecked ego is a narcissistic and childlike behavior we see in people who demand control of all things with a need for the last word.
ego is narcissism at its grotesque finest which knows everything and is boisterous. unfortunately, those who are led by ego can not and will not see how this character flaw only hurts them and their fragility.
when at peace, or rather, perhaps the word i’m searching for is content, ego is kind, patient, respectful, empathetic, and compassionate. what i’m also sharing, is that when grounded with humility, the likelihood of ego misbehaving is small.
expressions of truth are revealed through a consciousness that is mindful and one that is shared in a thoughtful manner. one that is not careless or projected with a recklessness that demands.
when egoless, the need to be right, noticed, seen, or heard is not compulsive. nor is one cavalier with anothers emotions. when done with quiet pride, ego can and knows how to quiet itself. it creates well thought out conversations that emote the ever loving emotional intelligence that is most often needed in Indigenous communities due to unresolved historical grief and traumas. even greater, it is grounded with love.
there is no need to fret over who did what or who had the idea first. there is no need for ego to announce, proclaim, or state it created this tribal resolution or policy or built something to be noticed.
when ego’s insecure, shameless, and insatiable taste for recognition is diminished, we find a more affable character. one worth seeking, one worth noting, one worth remembering without the distasteful residue of an over inflated ego.
enclosing, and thinking back to 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, even 11 years ago, the evolutionary process of who i am becoming has been a journey of rediscovering weaknesses and strengths i am familiar with.
its taken some time.
in the processing, and over the years, what this has taught me is that teaching and learning are fluid.
it is possible for ego to evolve.
it is also possible to find peace and be contented.
it is a tried and true story (and teaching) that is millennia old…
be humble, or be humbled.
ego hurts ppl. it’s been stated before that hurt people, will hurt people. it’s also important to know that healed people, will heal people. Yox~❤