By this song I walk


And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Somedays I get overwhelming feelings that create moments of questioning and self inquiry. Why am I doing this? What am I doing? What’s the end goal? Etc.

As I get closer to goals I set out to accomplish, I have those “ah-hah” moments. All questioning is answered with an inner peace and the calm of knowing the why, what, and who, etc and the answers come towards me like rolling clouds preparing to make it rain.

Of the late, I’ve been seeing some of the amazing things I’ve accomplished and the people who have been supportive on this journey. I’m blogging thoughts out loud to share it’s quite alright to step back at times and send out good thoughts and feelings, but most of all, to send out appreciation in the name of gratitude. It balances out the not so good times when those moments escape us, but also when we need to be realigned and recalibrated.

Oftentimes when on a mission, we forget ourselves and any work we may have accomplished. Now this comes from a place that does not mean in a self absorbed sense, but from an awareness of self. I truly believe that somedays the most powerful prayer is saying “Thank You.” When said in gratitude, it’s the best way to acknowledge as Paulo Coehlo shared in The Alchemist, “the universe conspires”.

While on this journey I have met some amazing people who have touched and stayed in my life. I appreciate my nearest and dearest friends who have been with me on this journey, but also my family. They love me unconditionally and somedays I work just for them. I could not have gone far without them by my side. Although I am an independent natured spirit, I’m truly blessed with some great people, both family and friends have been a blessing. When I look long enough, those who have been through the worst with me have also been with me at some of my best moments in life. And it’s those times and memories that I’m reflecting on. I’ve come a long ways. Considering I should be a statistic, I’ve broken some barriers and today I know, I am an answer to my ancestors prayers and I walk on their shoulders and they’re giants.

In that thinking, goals have also had a funny way of revealing my inner character, but also my “determination” as one relative shared. I’ve been on this journey for quite some time now and I know I didn’t get here alone. I am strong with my creator, the earth is my home, and my church is underneath the great blue skies of this world.

While on this journey, I have encountered my fair share of “haters”. As such, I don’t want to give any of them too much cred, (yes thats pluralized) so I insert this to share, they’re not really “haters”, they just don’t like me, but more than that, they don’t like themselves the most. As they make the world more interesting (for me), at times, I must share, I think of them as my motivators. If you haven’t learned the difference between motivation and inspiration, you’ve been fortunate to not have anyone dislike your work, words, decisions, platforms, business, education, choices, you name it, when someone doesn’t like you, they will find everything to dislike about you no matter what. My life lesson with those kinds of people, I smile and wave yo, I smile and wave. What they eat don’t make me shit and I’m standing on higher ground.

As a reminder to myself, I needed to share this blog thoughts out loud is rooted in gratitude and appreciation. Even those who don’t like me serve a purpose. As a matter of fact, while on my running journey, they’re who I look back and see in my rear view mirror of life. Again, motivators. They serve their purpose and I am a queen of hearts. If they only knew, I forgive them and they don’t need to hound my life, the town I live in, or the people who love me… just accept, I am who I am and loved for it.

Its been a journey to say the least. Each day I get one day closer to a goal I set out to accomplish back in 2002. Today, I have my health, happiness, family, friends, most of all, I have love written all over my heart. With loving family and friends who have managed to become inspirations (some without even knowing it) I know I am exactly where I am meant to be and have endured, encountered, embraced, and enjoy this beautiful blessed life. Even the “bad” times and heartbreaks have taught me love and compassion, but more than that, they taught me forgiveness. I have learned, if I am to truly evolve my game, I must overcome my own hangups and dislikes. Embracing each moment, event, and decision I’ve made with heartfelt gratitude has helped me see that gift.

In closing, I thought it would be nice to step away from that academic-scholarly work schtuff and breathe. Blogging thoughts out loud between yoga practice, running in preparation for a half marathon, doctoral studies, writing, family life, personal happiness and relationships, work, cultural groundings in language, sisterhood, parenting, cooking and living a healthy lifeway… All of these and so much more have made me into the woman that I am today.

I am feeling myself like you wouldn’t believe and the energy is amazingly delicious and yet oh so powerful. Grounded in love, happiness, and inner beauty, I am a warrior of peace who loves fiercely. I aim to hit my arrows on their mark and if I don’t get it the first time, just know, I am ambitious AF and will keep trying until I do hit the mark. After all, when I left my Rez I vowed to myself I would finish what I started.

Getting her shine on…

Yours truly,

moi

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